We cannot tell, in hindsight, which is annoying. Just as you say. In a way, there was such innocence about same-sex love that romantic friendship was considered wholly inconspicuous -- on the other hand, the 19th century was unspeakably cruel to those that were found in the sordid, undisputable depths.

The belittling of f/f love is another chapter that still perseveres, though. The example I quote, though, is a man addressing his friend (clearly another male, by grammatical gender, which German has) and then going on about, at great length, about the wish to kiss him again and again...