New Saints nominated

[yakalskovich]

Disclaimer: This is a joke by the Nazgul (who doesn't have an LJ so I can post it without stealing her thunder muchly) on a Lord of the Rings theme. It might seem a teeny-weeny bit blasphemous to the more narrow-minded (dim-witted cow-heads from Oberammergau come to mind, as mentioned in my last post), so if you consider yourself devoutly Catholic or else easily offended, then don't click to read more!!
Otherwise,

Nazgul are evil, as we all know, and so of course they have their spies in the Vatican, who recently managed to smuggle out the following intelligence from the most secret planning committee:

In a desperate attempt to win back lost sheep and provide hitherto neglected industries with appropriate patron saints, the Papal Commission for the Creation of New and more Commonly Accessible Saints has nominated the following popular figures for immediate canonization as:

• 7. St. Aragorn, patron saint of garbage collectors and navvies
  
• 6. St. Arwen, patron saint of the tissue industry
  
• 5. St. Frodo, patron saint of the makers of aspirin
  
• 4. St. Sam, patron saint of the stock cube industry
  
• 3. St. Legolas, patron saint of the hair cosmetics industry
  
• 2. St. Gandalf, patron saint of the detergent industry
  

and finally:

• 1. St. Gollum, patron saint of psychiatrists
  

Comments

[vaysh]

*cracks up and applauds*