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yakalskovich) wrote2009-08-13 10:37 pm
yakalskovich) wrote2009-08-13 10:37 pm
Entry tags:
I'm a person, not an epidemic -- Fat Acceptance 101 link list
It really pisses me off that putting up an advertisement like this is still thought a) acceptable and b) funny. The post I link vigorously protests against it, but an ad agency came up with the bullshit, that organisation is paying for it, and thousands of people are probably finding it funny, not only thin people, and people that 'successfully' fight their own body to stay thin, but fat people of varying degree as well, because they of course (almost) all internalised that they shouldn't be what they are, and all ridicule heaped on them is their own fault.
I have left that building a while ago, and never really looked back.
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dawning_star, whom I never properly thanked for this, linked to The Rotund, and I followed the link, then followed some more links, and my world-view just shifted. I was stupid enough to spend 39 years of my life without the company of cats; I was stupid enough to spend almost as many years (from age 7 or 8) hating my own body and fighting what it is by nature. However, I have cats now, and I've dared set foot in another world where there is an awesome Domino Dress for me, and not for the skinny girls (who can wear Fishbone, Prada, and everything else there is, but NOT THIS!).
There is Beth Ditto going rapidly mainstream to inspire us, too. It does help to watch an entire edition of 'Tracks' at Arte TV (the German-French culture channel, and one of the two only TV channels I watch at random) wholly devoted to Beth Ditto, an interview with her, the music of her band 'Gossip', and the background of what she is standing for. It's always a great turning point to realise one is not alone, and the way she is going mainstream gets that message to thousands out there.
What I haven't done is speak up. If somebody rants in chat about 'OMG obesity crisis (BOOGA BOOGA BOOGA!)', I wait until they change the topic. If somebody goes on in a journal post on how they need to lose weight (and what they're doing to do so, and how they're getting on with it), I didn't comment, but just felt rather sad about it and let it pass. Their life is their own business, and I'm not going to lure them away from the gnerally accepted straight and narrow into the wilderness of counterculture. You probably know if you're one of them. This post is not about any one of you, but about all of you (and one awesome girl that I hear about second-hand).
You are awesome women of stellar awesomeness who achieve and create and contribute and enrich life in incredible ways. I admire the hell out of you, for what you are and how much you kick ass, for what you have done, and for how much potential you have, all the things you create and the massively amazing things you have up your sleeves. I love seeing your bright smiles on your icons, and think it's a pity if you find you have to hide your faces for their being 'fat'.
I'm still not going to argue with you. I'm not going to comment on your 'OMG I am fat and must lose weight!' posts (with one notable exception, and that one pinged me a while later and asked for more resources and a bit of affirmation, so I seem to have been doing it right); and I'm not asking to be filtered out from them, either. I know who I am and can deal with the diet talk. I an deal with the talk about hubbies and kids, too, without feeling the urge to state it is not my lifestyle, and I can deal with the posts about religion and opposition to it, without feeling the need to state what exactly my position is. I like diversity, even and especially when it reaches far beyond my lifestyle and my opinions. We live in an amazing world!!
I don't like to see you unhappy, but I'm not going to argue with you how you ought to lead your lives. I hate it when people tell me how I ought to live mine, after all. Nobody has the right to tell anybody who they ought to be and what they ought to do. Absolutely nobody. Me neither!
What I am going to do is give you access to a few resoures, links to sites and books that I found useful, so you can discover what I discovered if you want to, and I no longer feel that I am cowardly (because I hate discussing my own personal matters) hiding away all the good things and keeping them to myself while I watch you flail around in the morass I already left.
Two things first. The term is 'fat'. Medical terms are discriminating and disempowering (think 'gay' vs. 'homophile'); Euphemisms aren't needed (no 'BBWs' or 'curvy' or anything; if I say curvy, I mean a road). To tell somebody 'Oh, but you're not fat!' isn't helpful. With the mainstream body image the way it is, growing numbers of people are thinking of themselves as fat. It's basically ridiculous. If you're having a problem with people around you thinking there should be less of you, than this conversation is for you. Whether you're an inbetweenie or a death fattie.
Secondly, the 'last acceptable prejudice' issue. The post up there that started me off has it, too. In the 'fatosphere' (fat-acceptance part of the blogosphere), there have been fierce discussions that ended up dismissing that thought. Yes, it's no longer politically correct to make jokes about gays, blacks, or other 'minorities'. Yes, fatties are the last group that is generally ridiculed in the mainstream media, under the assumption they ought not be what they are, are defective, and it's all their fault. Yes, fat has taken the place of sex as the great sin everybody should chastise and quell within themselves. It doesn't mean that life is easy-peasy and mainstream if you're gay, or another skin colour than most people in the country you're in. Let's not belittle what other people are going through by saying we're the last.
I am saying 'we' now, if you have followed me this far.
There are, basically, three stages or topic areas to discover.
A. Debunk the myths
Don't you realise fat is unhealthy? That is the big issue to be tackled first. Follow the link to find out more, or get the book about the Obesity Myth. There's lots of science and stats in there. You find lots several debunking sites around the web, and some of the fat acceptance/fatshion blogs have health sections to their blog rolls. I espeically like Junk Food Science. The woman who writes it is a bit snarky and against public health care, but she's quite convincing; I mailed her when I wanted to see the links turning up in the media about swine flu and fatness debunked.
The alternative to continually dieting and gaining back is calles HAES (Health At Every Size). There's a book, and a rather comprehensive web site about it. You can have it as a simple twelve-step program or as a radio show. Here is a Q&A with the woman who hosts that, providing many basics and links.
B. Get on top of your life
Get an inspiring book; I recommend this one by Kate Harding and Marianne Kirby, but there are others out there as well. Read fat acceptance blogs: just follow the links and RSS feeds on all these pages, and discover for yourself! There are vids -- Natalies 'Eight Really Hard Steps' and Joy Nash's seminal 'Fat Rant'. If somebody has a go at you, check first whether what they say is on the tongue-in-cheek Fat Hate Bingo (card one, card two); anything on there has been debunked and disqualified and dealt with, you need not listen to it, or worry about it. There's lots more. There are people doing this as a science. Just follow the links on the blog rolls, and the blog rolls on those blogs, and poke whatever intests you. You can be at it all day if you want to, and discover amazing things.
C. Have fun!
Taking back the fun is part of it: enjoy clothes, enjoy exercise, enjoy food and drink, enjoy sex. Shocking, isn't it? Of course, not all of these are for everybody. It's not a prerequisite. But you can have them all, and there's blogs and web sites out there dedicated tofat fashion, the celebration of our bodies, and our creativity.
Just a few examples:
Fatshionista
Pretty pear
Sewing At Any Size
Fat girls like nice clothes, too
Fat Fu - with an amazing and comprehensive link list in the right navigation column
Adipositivity project
The Full Body Project
I don't really like to talk about myself too much, unless it's about thoughts I think and stuff I make and thread I write and how much I like my cats. But if I say 'Here's all that amazing stuff I found, take it or leave it', then anybody can at least ask 'What did it do for you?' instead of digging through dozens of links at my say-so.
No guilt. I've fired the little voice that told me how bad I was for being fat, and the much louder voice that kept telling me that everybody who dares say anything can just go to hell, because the only thing that counts is my brain and my thoughts, right? As a result, I am much less snarky and pissy, and don't ALWAYS go about like a short, pudgy storm cloud. Only in the Miserable Village, but that's just because the village is so OMG miserable.
I'm my body, too. I'm reclaiming my body -- I wear amazing, comfortable shoes and just walk, which is something I have hated since childhood. I go swimming every other week or so, with the Nazgul. I'm making plans to actually try yoga for the sake of re-interating body and mind.
I take part in the discourse and have a tumblr photoblog for just that purpose. OMG A Purple Fattie! I did that one shout-out asking for 'What basic sites do I need to mention for a FA 101 to show my awesome friends what I am on about', which this post grew out of.
I have fun with clothes and are much more in your face in how I present myself. I used to have two modes of clothing: trousers with an orginal tee-shirt sporting a unique print I made myself, or black potato sack. Now, the two modes are 'trousers with long top' and 'skirt with short top' (and the occasional dress). The Domino Dress, despite being called a dress, is basically the apotheosis of the 'trousers with long top' principle. It is incredibly in your face and states loudly 'Yes, I mean to be this way exactly, boobs, bottom, purple hair and all'. Nobody would put on something like that through accident and ignorance.
I mean to be me. Thank you.-
I have left that building a while ago, and never really looked back.
dawning_star, whom I never properly thanked for this, linked to The Rotund, and I followed the link, then followed some more links, and my world-view just shifted. I was stupid enough to spend 39 years of my life without the company of cats; I was stupid enough to spend almost as many years (from age 7 or 8) hating my own body and fighting what it is by nature. However, I have cats now, and I've dared set foot in another world where there is an awesome Domino Dress for me, and not for the skinny girls (who can wear Fishbone, Prada, and everything else there is, but NOT THIS!).There is Beth Ditto going rapidly mainstream to inspire us, too. It does help to watch an entire edition of 'Tracks' at Arte TV (the German-French culture channel, and one of the two only TV channels I watch at random) wholly devoted to Beth Ditto, an interview with her, the music of her band 'Gossip', and the background of what she is standing for. It's always a great turning point to realise one is not alone, and the way she is going mainstream gets that message to thousands out there.
What I haven't done is speak up. If somebody rants in chat about 'OMG obesity crisis (BOOGA BOOGA BOOGA!)', I wait until they change the topic. If somebody goes on in a journal post on how they need to lose weight (and what they're doing to do so, and how they're getting on with it), I didn't comment, but just felt rather sad about it and let it pass. Their life is their own business, and I'm not going to lure them away from the gnerally accepted straight and narrow into the wilderness of counterculture. You probably know if you're one of them. This post is not about any one of you, but about all of you (and one awesome girl that I hear about second-hand).
You are awesome women of stellar awesomeness who achieve and create and contribute and enrich life in incredible ways. I admire the hell out of you, for what you are and how much you kick ass, for what you have done, and for how much potential you have, all the things you create and the massively amazing things you have up your sleeves. I love seeing your bright smiles on your icons, and think it's a pity if you find you have to hide your faces for their being 'fat'.
I'm still not going to argue with you. I'm not going to comment on your 'OMG I am fat and must lose weight!' posts (with one notable exception, and that one pinged me a while later and asked for more resources and a bit of affirmation, so I seem to have been doing it right); and I'm not asking to be filtered out from them, either. I know who I am and can deal with the diet talk. I an deal with the talk about hubbies and kids, too, without feeling the urge to state it is not my lifestyle, and I can deal with the posts about religion and opposition to it, without feeling the need to state what exactly my position is. I like diversity, even and especially when it reaches far beyond my lifestyle and my opinions. We live in an amazing world!!
I don't like to see you unhappy, but I'm not going to argue with you how you ought to lead your lives. I hate it when people tell me how I ought to live mine, after all. Nobody has the right to tell anybody who they ought to be and what they ought to do. Absolutely nobody. Me neither!
What I am going to do is give you access to a few resoures, links to sites and books that I found useful, so you can discover what I discovered if you want to, and I no longer feel that I am cowardly (because I hate discussing my own personal matters) hiding away all the good things and keeping them to myself while I watch you flail around in the morass I already left.
Two things first. The term is 'fat'. Medical terms are discriminating and disempowering (think 'gay' vs. 'homophile'); Euphemisms aren't needed (no 'BBWs' or 'curvy' or anything; if I say curvy, I mean a road). To tell somebody 'Oh, but you're not fat!' isn't helpful. With the mainstream body image the way it is, growing numbers of people are thinking of themselves as fat. It's basically ridiculous. If you're having a problem with people around you thinking there should be less of you, than this conversation is for you. Whether you're an inbetweenie or a death fattie.
Secondly, the 'last acceptable prejudice' issue. The post up there that started me off has it, too. In the 'fatosphere' (fat-acceptance part of the blogosphere), there have been fierce discussions that ended up dismissing that thought. Yes, it's no longer politically correct to make jokes about gays, blacks, or other 'minorities'. Yes, fatties are the last group that is generally ridiculed in the mainstream media, under the assumption they ought not be what they are, are defective, and it's all their fault. Yes, fat has taken the place of sex as the great sin everybody should chastise and quell within themselves. It doesn't mean that life is easy-peasy and mainstream if you're gay, or another skin colour than most people in the country you're in. Let's not belittle what other people are going through by saying we're the last.
I am saying 'we' now, if you have followed me this far.
There are, basically, three stages or topic areas to discover.
A. Debunk the myths
Don't you realise fat is unhealthy? That is the big issue to be tackled first. Follow the link to find out more, or get the book about the Obesity Myth. There's lots of science and stats in there. You find lots several debunking sites around the web, and some of the fat acceptance/fatshion blogs have health sections to their blog rolls. I espeically like Junk Food Science. The woman who writes it is a bit snarky and against public health care, but she's quite convincing; I mailed her when I wanted to see the links turning up in the media about swine flu and fatness debunked.
The alternative to continually dieting and gaining back is calles HAES (Health At Every Size). There's a book, and a rather comprehensive web site about it. You can have it as a simple twelve-step program or as a radio show. Here is a Q&A with the woman who hosts that, providing many basics and links.
B. Get on top of your life
Get an inspiring book; I recommend this one by Kate Harding and Marianne Kirby, but there are others out there as well. Read fat acceptance blogs: just follow the links and RSS feeds on all these pages, and discover for yourself! There are vids -- Natalies 'Eight Really Hard Steps' and Joy Nash's seminal 'Fat Rant'. If somebody has a go at you, check first whether what they say is on the tongue-in-cheek Fat Hate Bingo (card one, card two); anything on there has been debunked and disqualified and dealt with, you need not listen to it, or worry about it. There's lots more. There are people doing this as a science. Just follow the links on the blog rolls, and the blog rolls on those blogs, and poke whatever intests you. You can be at it all day if you want to, and discover amazing things.
C. Have fun!
Taking back the fun is part of it: enjoy clothes, enjoy exercise, enjoy food and drink, enjoy sex. Shocking, isn't it? Of course, not all of these are for everybody. It's not a prerequisite. But you can have them all, and there's blogs and web sites out there dedicated tofat fashion, the celebration of our bodies, and our creativity.
Just a few examples:
Fatshionista
Pretty pear
Sewing At Any Size
Fat girls like nice clothes, too
Fat Fu - with an amazing and comprehensive link list in the right navigation column
Adipositivity project
The Full Body Project
I don't really like to talk about myself too much, unless it's about thoughts I think and stuff I make and thread I write and how much I like my cats. But if I say 'Here's all that amazing stuff I found, take it or leave it', then anybody can at least ask 'What did it do for you?' instead of digging through dozens of links at my say-so.
No guilt. I've fired the little voice that told me how bad I was for being fat, and the much louder voice that kept telling me that everybody who dares say anything can just go to hell, because the only thing that counts is my brain and my thoughts, right? As a result, I am much less snarky and pissy, and don't ALWAYS go about like a short, pudgy storm cloud. Only in the Miserable Village, but that's just because the village is so OMG miserable.
I'm my body, too. I'm reclaiming my body -- I wear amazing, comfortable shoes and just walk, which is something I have hated since childhood. I go swimming every other week or so, with the Nazgul. I'm making plans to actually try yoga for the sake of re-interating body and mind.
I take part in the discourse and have a tumblr photoblog for just that purpose. OMG A Purple Fattie! I did that one shout-out asking for 'What basic sites do I need to mention for a FA 101 to show my awesome friends what I am on about', which this post grew out of.
I have fun with clothes and are much more in your face in how I present myself. I used to have two modes of clothing: trousers with an orginal tee-shirt sporting a unique print I made myself, or black potato sack. Now, the two modes are 'trousers with long top' and 'skirt with short top' (and the occasional dress). The Domino Dress, despite being called a dress, is basically the apotheosis of the 'trousers with long top' principle. It is incredibly in your face and states loudly 'Yes, I mean to be this way exactly, boobs, bottom, purple hair and all'. Nobody would put on something like that through accident and ignorance.
I mean to be me. Thank you.-
no subject
I'm a tweener, myself, and -- sadly -- not healthy right now (dunno if you saw my post about that a while back... blood pressure up, ugh), but I greatly prefer a fat-accepting world over the other kind.
no subject
P.S.
While I often joke that fat hatred is like Eastpack backpacks in that it fits every subculture or counterculture, there do seem to be niches in the Goth culture, and not all these derby rollers are skinny or even 'normal'. I think that set is a wonderful celebration of kickass female diversity, as well as that particular roller derby team!
Re: P.S.
You're right about derby girls not having to be skinny. One nice thing about derby is that there is a role for every body type. Small, lithe girls usually skate as jammers -- the fast sprinters who score points. But for the most part, you want your defense to be made up of tall women and bigger women, because they do most of the blocking and hitting. Muscle and mass is an asset in that role. Bigger skaters don't get hurt as much, either, usually. It's funny, because when I try to recruit people, small women say, "I'm scared I'll get hurt; aren't they all big and tough?" and big women say, "Don't you have to be fit and small to be an athlete?" It's like everyone thinks someone else would be better at derby. But as I tell people all the time, anyone who says you is too tall/short/skinny/fat for derby hasn't played it seriously (or seen it played seriously). The only thing I ever warn women about derby is 1) you almost certainly will lose weight from playing, and gain muscle and, 2) if you play seriously and for several years, you'll end up with a bigger right leg than left leg.
The Rocky Mountain team in Denver has some really unusually-built women who are fantastic. Pinky 500, for example, is built a lot like me, big boobs, very hourglass, except she's easily twice again as big as I am across her hips. They are a weapon; she can smack with those hips so hard, it makes your head spin. They also have a girl who is probably under 5' tall in her skates, and pretty heavy for her height, and she can get down and hit upward to knock someone on their ass; AND she's fast as hell. Another star, from Gotham City, is Beyonslay:
And made no mistake: Pinky and Beyonslay are BELOVED in derby.
Which is also cool, because even though derby folks usually see bigger players and assume they are blockers, there are plenty of big jammers out there who are every bit as fast and nimble as the little ones.
And thanks so much; I'm glad you like the photos.
Thanks!
Post is here.
Re: Thanks!
Oh, but you're so wrong! Look what's happening in German and nearby:
Your nearest leagues:
* Stuttgart, Germany - Stuttgart Valley Roller Girlz
* Ludwigsburg, Germany - Barockcity Rollerderby
* Bayreuth, Germany - Bayreuth Roller Derby
* Zurich, Switzerland - Swiss Roller Derby
* Cologne, Germany - Cologne RollerCats
* Berlin, Germany - Berlin Bombshells
* Hamburg, Germany - Harbor Girls
* Steintor, Germany - Meatgrinders Roller Derby
* Gent, Belgium - Go Go Roller Girls
I don't know how many of them are bouting yet -- it usually takes about a year from league inception to a first bout. There are leagues in the UK s well. Check out their sites -- some were in Germany which I can't read. And let me know what you find out!
Derby is going everywhere. There's an expat league in Abu Dhabi.
no subject
Wow!
no subject
Anyway, lots more comments, just the ad... FAIL.
Comment 2
For many, many years... well, 'til at least the time I left home for college at 19, I really kept trying to HIDE myself. As in, try to fit in and dress like other people and not be seen. I look back on it and have to laugh, because the possibility of me being "invisible" or "not being noticed" or "looking normal" is about zero. Not that I have abandoned all decorum, but going for the opposite ("Look at this insane outfit, ha ha ha... Yeah, you think it looks silly but still, I'm brave enough to wear it!") is so much more fun and, as you say, liberating.
P.S. This icon is me going around a small city in northern Italy, scandalizing the townsfolk with clothes which are supposedly inappropriate. I should be shorter and thinner and wear a longer skirt. As if! LOL.
no subject
Because they seriously rock & kick ass, what I've seen of them so far.
no subject
I'm still figuring things out for myself as I settle into school and just next round of my life but its nice to understand better what you're thinking.
no subject
Yes, it's what I'm thinking and what I have found; everybody's mileage varies, of course.
But I felt I couldn't keep all these things to myself when they might be USEFUL for others.
no subject
Hang on! You keep telling me I ought to learn Latin!
But if you do yoga and it happens to be on a wednesday or saturday, may I join?
no subject
*giggles*
Yep, course you may! After all, there must not be one day in the week where there is no sports or sports-like activity, huh?
no subject
I mean, I LIKE the fact that I am losing weight (not through diet, mostly just my ADD meds, to be honest), but mostly I just need to get fit (walking, Ashie, walking is GOOD FOR YOU), which isn't the same thing as 'thin', I know. But I have itsy tiny feet and stupidly large breasts that make my back ache (and I'm fairly certain have made my spine more curved than it should), and a wacky hormone imbalance. I certainly wouldn't want to be MUCH slimmer than I am now, though. I'd be frail, like my friends seem to increasingly be. I LIKE my curves. Actually, the best thing for my acceptance of them was really belly-dancing (which I need to get back into). The teacher said, "you hear that sound? That's the sound of your thighs hitting each other as you shimmy. That's GOOD."
...which I'm possibly OT now, BUT bravo to you.
no subject
People think every day that such ads are a good idea. Because really, you need to be able to point the finger at somebody, and there's nobody else left you're publicly allowed to point the finger at with total self-righteous abandon.
As for walking? I hated it with a passion all my life. And then I found these awesome shoes that sort of propel me forward all by themselves, and keep me from standing flat-footed, and since then, I have been walking through the Miserable Village, or standing by a red carpet for hours without flagging for the chance of getting a look at Alan Rickman again. I wear either those, or (at home, and around the block) Crocs. The 'don't wanna walk' thing is getting increasingly rare for me now.
no subject
Ooooh, SHOES. I need some awesome shoes to be able to walk in and stand for my shift work in - at the moment, a bad seven-hour shift can leave me gasping with pain by the end of it. My runners are fairly good for just walking around my suburb, which I need to do more often as it's pretty, but finding a good pair of WALKING shoes...!
"I'm sorry, we don't have shoes that (
smallsize." is generally what I get.no subject
I have five pairs now: the sandals, the sports shoes that have not one single shred of leather in them and are hence nicknamed 'the veganskis', sensible black shoes with laces, winter/hiking type boots, and mary janes. I bought them over the course of the last three years, when my budget allowed it. But they've made a world of difference for me, so they're worth every Euro I could not spend on books.-
no subject
Just didn't want awkwardness of any sort, even unintended. Example: Didn't want you to think that anything I was saying about -mysel-f was a judgment on -you-... certainly not! What kind of asshole would lecture/hint or otherwise pick on a friend in such a way. I mean, OK, Caleb does that to me, but I would never to it back!) Anything I say about myself is only about me. I have no desire to enforce my vision of reality or fitness or health on someone who is not -asking- for help directly.
However, now that I see you've gone out shopping with your sister, I think we two could have a very productive shopping expedition someday. More domino dresses and other assorted fun clothes you can't possibly hide in. (Like either of us could hide!)
Don't know when I'll next be visiting, but remember!
no subject
I'd rather not have you diss yourself (see point 8 on this list, and point 2 - 4 on this one), but not because it would reflect on me, simply because you are awesome as you are, with all the things you know and do and with the way you take your life in its stride as it is, and there is no reason to keep bashing yourself over the head with a large dead fish all the time. There is no danger your head becomes swollen if you don't do it, apart from the part where you'll always have Caleb to point out your shortcomings so you'll stay on the carpet, like the laurel-holder in a Roman triumph going 'Remember you are mortal'...