Maru (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
yakalskovich) wrote2004-11-30 05:35 pm
yakalskovich) wrote2004-11-30 05:35 pm
The worst metaphor EVAH
The mass email and fax mailing I just had to send out contained the following sentence:
"Wie ein Schiff ohne Ruder im offenen Meer treibt ein Unternehmen in den Gezeiten der Wirtschaft führungslos umher, wenn es nicht auf der Grundlage zeitnah ermittelter Daten gesteuert wird."
That means:
"Like a ship without a rudder on the open sea, an enteprise will drift leaderless with the tides of the economy unless it is steered on the basis of near-realtime data."
Never mind the truth or falsehood of this claim, I merely gag at the metaphor. This is possibly the worst metaphor ever - and I work for a bunch of losers that pay somebody to write such utterly offending, nauseating and verbose offal!!
*is ashamed*
Really, the fellow who perpetrated the sentence belongs poisoned, shot (twice), bludgeoned to death with a blunt instrument and then drowned in ice water! Alternatively, he should at least be painted as a porcupine, dragged behind a chariot, and then possibly burned in angry purple fire...
Also, I heard that that journalist in question went to Istanbul on a press tour, and there spent the night in his hotel room watching pay-per-view pr0n channels and leaving the bill for the hosting company to pick up. I wasn't going to tell that to anybody, but now, after this sentence, he is game. On Friday, the our office gossip hub node comes back from a trade fair and will then speedily be informed of this.
ETA: we just got the first answer that totally lampoons this revolting and factually incorrect sentence:
"Früher war man, wenn man sich mit dem Schiff auf dem Ozean verirrte und die Küstenlinie nicht mehr sah, so gut wie sicher dem Tode ausgeliefert. Nur die Offiziere konnten ja navigieren. Heute macht es der Skipper. Gut dass es beim Segeln noch kein ERP gibt!"
("In old times you were facing almost certain death when you lost your way sailing on the oceans and souldn't see the coastline any more. Only the officers were able to navigate. Today, the skipper has to do it. What a relief that there's no ERP yet in sailing!")
"Wie ein Schiff ohne Ruder im offenen Meer treibt ein Unternehmen in den Gezeiten der Wirtschaft führungslos umher, wenn es nicht auf der Grundlage zeitnah ermittelter Daten gesteuert wird."
That means:
"Like a ship without a rudder on the open sea, an enteprise will drift leaderless with the tides of the economy unless it is steered on the basis of near-realtime data."
Never mind the truth or falsehood of this claim, I merely gag at the metaphor. This is possibly the worst metaphor ever - and I work for a bunch of losers that pay somebody to write such utterly offending, nauseating and verbose offal!!
*is ashamed*
Really, the fellow who perpetrated the sentence belongs poisoned, shot (twice), bludgeoned to death with a blunt instrument and then drowned in ice water! Alternatively, he should at least be painted as a porcupine, dragged behind a chariot, and then possibly burned in angry purple fire...
Also, I heard that that journalist in question went to Istanbul on a press tour, and there spent the night in his hotel room watching pay-per-view pr0n channels and leaving the bill for the hosting company to pick up. I wasn't going to tell that to anybody, but now, after this sentence, he is game. On Friday, the our office gossip hub node comes back from a trade fair and will then speedily be informed of this.
ETA: we just got the first answer that totally lampoons this revolting and factually incorrect sentence:
"Früher war man, wenn man sich mit dem Schiff auf dem Ozean verirrte und die Küstenlinie nicht mehr sah, so gut wie sicher dem Tode ausgeliefert. Nur die Offiziere konnten ja navigieren. Heute macht es der Skipper. Gut dass es beim Segeln noch kein ERP gibt!"
("In old times you were facing almost certain death when you lost your way sailing on the oceans and souldn't see the coastline any more. Only the officers were able to navigate. Today, the skipper has to do it. What a relief that there's no ERP yet in sailing!")
ERP
Yes, I hate ship metaphors, too. Unlike real ships, as in "Pirates" or "Master & Commander"...
Re: ERP
Real ships, indeed.
:-D
Didn't watch M&C, most of my RL friends who saw it didn't like it at all. Worth watching?
M & C
Totally cute. Do watch. Also, has pretty James D'Arcy, who's on the icons for my
Re: M & C
Beththe doc will be up to.:-)
If I find the time.
Re: M & C
Russel Crowe (hmm, well, I dunno) = Captain Jack Aubrey
Paul Bettany (very suee-worthy!) = Doctor Maturin
James D'Arcy (teh CUTE!!) = Lt Pullings, first officer
The first two are the almost-canon!slash pairing; fen try to slash the third with anybody, but it won't work, AFAICS. So, I pinched him for my own nefarious purposes, dyed him blond (with help from forst